There are people who think that if there is no feeling of jealousy then there is no love either, but it is isn’t always so. If we describe jealousy in short it will mean that it is a proprietary right over/towards another person with numerous serious consequences. Feeling of light jealousy may become a stimulus in a marital life, that’s to say it may lead to sexual desire and give a new nuance to marital a relation which is, of course, a means of struggling against an uneventful life, and at last it may refresh feeling of love.
In many cases strong jealousy can become a heavy burden in a marital life. Both men and women are jealous. In such a family life becomes a hell for one of the married couple. For example, if a woman is five minutes late for work, speaks on the phone, buys a new dress or styles her hair and etc., it can become a reason of jealousy and infinite interrogations.
There are cases when women begin following their husbands, even hire a secret service man in order to catch them in the very place. Of course, groundless jealousy is met among people who have unsure, suspicious, sticky ideas, self-analytic character, and in some cases they are hysteric. The more husbands pay attention to his wife, the more she wants to be the focus of attention, and it always seems that her self-esteem is offended. Of course, such attitude changes family relations negatively. Early or late the partner gets tired of permanent justifications for outstanding actions, and it can lead to divorce. Of course, there is also grounded jealousy when there are precise facts about adultery, and life experience shows that if one of the married couple forgives betrayal in future, s/he can manifest numerous jealous scenes. In psychiatry there is a “pathological jealousy” concept. It can manifest in case of chronic alcoholism, male sexual dysfunctions, mental diseases as well as certain characteristic features. It is illogical to dissuade such individuals. They can even be jealous of old husbands or of partners in bed. Once, a person applied to us who tied his wife at night to bed in order not to let her betray. There was a case when an old woman came to us in order that we restrained her 80-year-old husband. After having investigated all these cases we discovered mental illness and sent them to the appropriate medical institution. Jealousy leads to the fact that both of them suffer which in itself leads to family disharmony and makes them be alien to each other. Various neuroses may develop, and against this background develop loss of sexual desire, impotence towards the very person, loss of family interests, avoidance of spousal obligations, and such individuals are more apt to betray their partners. It turns out that the more jealous we are, the more favorable conditions we create for adulteries.
And can jealousy be absent? Of course, there are a great number of men and women who say that they don’t have that feeling at all. For example, they pay no attention to the fact that their husband dances with a young woman or when he returns home late, he isn’t at home without any reason or when a lot of women ring him up and etc. It is, of course, necessary to find out the reason of such attitude. On one hand, it may be indifference towards husband, on the basis of which may be psychological protection of not being worried, angry and in this way they avoid the situation. In this case it’s necessary to find out reason for marriage, and of course, there is a disharmonious factor. In our reality woman can depend on her spouse materially, and not wanting to lose that status she closes her eyes to everything. On the other hand, one of them lives in a carefree way and thinks that legally married life is enough not to betray him/her. In some cases it is in relation to the spouses’ personal peculiarities. In the third case, absence of jealousy may be connected with self-assurance of a spouse, when they think that they love their partners so much that they can’t pay any attention to others. As a rule, when these spouses know about adultery, they become the most jealous persons and are ready to take revenge in answer to betrayal. Some husbands let their second half relax alone, and they are even glad that she is absent. Here, of course, there is a positive thing, that is that after rest they’ll be very glad to meet each other, but it is important to take into consideration roots and motivations of that behavior which again lead to marital disharmony. In some cases there is both hidden freedom and absence of jealousy when spouses let each other wide freedom with all its consequences. By summing up the above mentioned that if there is love and full marital harmony, jealousy and uncertainty can’t be rooted there. Everything is beautiful within reason, and I wish you find it.
